Browsing Category

Soul Coaching®

Blog Soul Coaching® December 12, 2016

I am a Soul Coach. And I’m very good at what I do because I learned to listen. I wasn’t taught to listen at home. Like most of us, I had to learn this somewhere else but it wasn’t always this way. In fact, I was very good at ignoring myself, my feelings, my body and my needs. In 1991 I began my training as a Rubenfeld Synergist, which is what practitioners of the Rubenfeld Synergy® Method are called. It is a technique for opening a dialogue between body, mind, emotions and spirit.

First I Dreamt

When my psyche and my body knew they had my apt attention, the communication flowed and the listening began. I was always a dreamer who dreamed frequently but remembered seldom. Most of my dream images would quickly evaporate in the light of day. Once in a while, though, one would stay with me, shadowing my day and tracking my every move, as if to say, “Look at me! I am important!” When finally a dream challenged me enough to remember it, I surrendered and wrote it down, thinking about it as if it were a riddle to unravel or a puzzle to solve.

Nine months before I started my training, I wrote in my journal,

I’ve denied so much of myself over the years that I doubt that I’d allow myself to recognize whatever might present itself [as the path to follow]. So I think I’ll try this Rubenfeld thing…shake myself up…do something new. One thing may lead to another.

I went to bed after writing that and had a flying dream! And so I began my training in this fertile dream soil that I had barely begun to till.

My Body Has A Few Things To Say!

As part of the training, we were required to have a minimum of twenty private sessions a year. These sessions took me beyond the intellectual interpretation of my dreams and added to my awareness the physical and emotional dimensions that had been lacking. I would sometimes look back in my journal and see that insights that I had- and soon forgot- were brought back to the surface to my conscious awareness when my body was involved. It was as if my body was listening (it was!) and was ready to remind me of those insights when I was ready to integrate them.

Through the use of touch and by focusing on my awareness of my body, my feelings slowly began to emerge from the dreamwork. My feelings were key and I could no longer ignore them. They became less frightening than I had feared because my body was engaged in the process in a way that was grounded and focused on the “here and now” of the Gestalt therapy tradition from which this work sprung. In the words of one of my clients, “I wasn’t alone. I had my body.”

Let The Dream-Catching Begin

During my three year training, I recorded over one hundred dreams in my journal. While it wasn’t a daily “catch”, that was a HUGE number of dreams for me to catch, relative to my “once in a  blue moon” dream-catching from before my training. My dream journals became my “State of the Union” address- the “union” of my conscious and subconscious selves.

I Learn To Listen Even More

If that’s all that happened in my training, that would have been enough! But of course, I was learning how to listen to others as I learned to listen to myself. I learned to shuttle with my awareness from my clients, to myself and back to my clients, in an on-going dance of awareness. Ilana Rubenfeld taught me how to listen to the body’s “score”, as she drew on her own training as a musician and conductor. We learned to pay attention to the notes, but equally important,  how to listen to the silence between them. Forever grateful for Ilana’s brilliant work, I continue to use these skills in Soul Coaching®. I became adept at seeing patterns in my clients and myself.

I’m Still Dreaming….

Some time after my training ended, I dreamt,

There is a performer, a combination of Joan Rivers and Judy Garland, who is rehearsing onstage for an upcoming show in an open amphitheatre that feels like Vegas. I am on-stage with her and treated as an honoured visitor. I don’t understand why I am there nor why should be honoured. The star asks me to do something like sing or dance and I’m confused and embarrassed, not sure what she wants or that I can do it. I see a crow fly by. I tell her that’s a good omen. It seems that being able to read the omen gets me off the hook in some way… [There is] something about the song “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”. I am unsure. Do I sing it? I explain to her that it is a song expressing hope.

If I’m not quite ready to integrate my “star” parts, I am willing to be on the stage of life and read the “omens” and the signs! By turning my attention to the powerful work of Denise Linn in Soul Coaching®, I teach my clients how to listen to their bodies, minds, emotions and spirits. They listen to the art and creative beauty of their lives.

Your Turn!

Ok, now it’s your turn. Do you listen to your dreams? Is listening to your body something your easily do? How about listening to your emotions? Or your spirit? Would you rather tune out to your body and emotions? See if you can find one small way to listen to yourself today, whether it’s simply following your breath or acknowledging a feeling. Listen to all  your notes……The whole notes, half notes, the quarter notes, even the grace notes…and the silences and spaces between them. That’s how I learned to listen. One note at a time.

my search continues
Blog Soul Coaching® December 4, 2016

My search continues, although my journey started long before I found Denise Linn and Soul Coaching®. I have been searching, and I still search, for the One Great Dreamer. At first, in my fascination with dreams, I mistakenly thought that dreams were both the means and the end. I thought that if only I could understand the message of a dream, if I could crack the code, then I would know myself better and understand dreams and their messages. I scratched in the dirt like a dog following the scent of a buried treasure.

The Search For Treasure

My search continued and at first, the treasure was simply to understand dreams. I hoped that if I could learn to understand dreams I could understand myself. Plato would approve. For me, dreams were the technology for self-understanding. They still are, yet in that moment by the pool (see my last post), when I tried to visualize what all this would look like, I suddenly saw that self-understanding was but the outer ring in a series of concentric circles.

Picture This

At first I thought that dreams should be the core circle, and expanding outward from the dream, I would find dream-understanding, self-understanding and so on, in an outward, expanding movement. But when I started working with dreams, their movement drew me inward and the centre circle, the core of the matter, was God. My search moved far beyond the need to understand myself, taking me into a world that was not visible to the naked eye, and where dreams were the technology for understanding both Self and Spirit. It was what I was searching for all along. Dreams were the means, not the end.

Forgetting and Remembering

Dreamers often awake with a sense that they were dreaming without being able to remember the details of the dream; that there was something there, if only they could remember what that was. This is not a new phenomenon. In Plato’s Republic we learn of the Myth of Er. There, Socrates tells of a man called Er and of his journey into the next world after dying in battle. Er tells of the rewards, the punishments, the judgments that a soul encounters. But he tells of the choices a soul must make and finally, of the River Lethe as well. It is this River of Forgetfulness of which the souls are required to drink, causing each to forget everything they had experienced between death and rebirth.

More Forgetting

Judaism, too, tells of forgetting. In the Talmud it is told that before an infant is born the child learns the entire Torah in utero! But as the newborn is delivered, an angel taps the baby on it’s upper lip, causing it to forget (and thus explaining the indentation we all have under our nose, on our upper lip.) Throughout the ages, there was a sense of there being something that we once knew but have forgotten.

There’s a Word for That?

There is a word for it, anamnesis, which is a kind of remembrance, and means the remembering of things from a supposed previous existence. Although this is often a reference to Platonic thought—that learning is the remembrance of things forgotten but once known by a soul—this idea shows up with little variation in medicine, religion and psychology as something previous known that is recalled to memory. So we spend our lives searching for what we suspect we’ve forgotten and surely, we’ll know it when we find it, won’t we? Or will we have forgotten how to see as well?

Listening

A better question would be, “Have we forgotten how to listen”? I believe that we have. In my next post, I will tell you how I began to listen. (Hint: It began with my body!)  But please don’t stress that I’m keeping you in suspense! I like to think that I’m asking you to develop your waiting and listening muscles. They are essential to the journey to connect with your soul. At least that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Until next time….

Opening doors in life
Blog Soul Coaching® November 27, 2016

How are you at opening doors? Doors will open in life but do you step through? Or do you hesitate? Do you wait for someone else to open them? My journey through one door led to Soul Coaching® and it started many years before Denise Linn’s book fell off my shelf and everything I had learned clicked into place. As so often is the case, we can only see the path clearly by looking back over the terrain. Here is where it started, and though I’ve shared this story before, now I’m giving you the whole story, in shorter posts, so you can pause to ponder your own journey. Even though all beginnings are somewhat random, we will start here…..yet even “here” had a before, in which I had to open a door…..

Beginnings

We live in post-Freudian times and many of us grew up learning that dreams were the “royal road to the unconscious”. And they are, but they are more than that. They are another form of opening doors for us. The first time I became aware that dreams were hinting at something larger than my own personal psychology was in an unlikely place for a revelation. The year was 1997 and I was sitting by the hotel pool on a very hot Philadelphia weekend. Danny Stein had just celebrated his Bar Mitzvah and my kids, numbering four, were cooling off in the pool along with all of Philadelphia it seemed. I sat in a lounge chair, watching the kids, watching people and reading Joan Borysenko’s “Fire in the Soul”. In it, she wrote, “A Parable: Safe Passage Home”. I read it and gasped. Then I cried under my sun hat. Somehow, in a few words, I found out why I was so interested in dreams, why I was a dreamer. Borysenko wrote,

“The fledgling souls took many roads Home. Each Way had its own Story and each soul responded to that Story with the gift of free will, embroidering new stories on the dream-tapestry of the One Great Dreamer.”

With that sudden understanding, I could now see what wasn’t there a moment before. In that moment, I reconnected with my Creator, with myself and to all dreamers in a way that I wasn’t connected before. Before, I felt like an orphan; now, suddenly, I belonged. Before, there had been an intellectual understanding of the psychology of dreams, now it was personal and it was spiritual.

“Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.”

In that moment by the pool I realized that I dream—you dream—because God dreams. Being “created in God’s image”, a familiar passage from the Bible, now took on deeper shading, as the idea took root in my heart and in my soul. Life was a noisy, hot day by a pool one moment and reality was where I had left it. Yet, a moment later, my eyes were opened to a broader perspective and I understood. I dream because God dreams! Yet, as everything changed, I still had work to do, children to raise; wood to chop and water to carry.

I was born of the One Great Dreamer and to dream is my birthright and my gift. At the same time, it is both natural and supernatural. My fascination with dreams had come into alignment with creation. Yet this sudden spiritual awakening —my poolside satori—threatened to dissipate as I struggled to understand. Am I dreaming all of this? Am I dreaming my life? My children? (My deliberation paused as I counted heads in the pool.) And if, like my Creator, I dream or create my world, are my own children, or anyone else for that matter, dreaming a different dream? Are common dreams what creates community and binds societies together? If my mind can play with the possibility that I’ve created my own reality, and I’ve dreamed this life of mine, then I have to also consider the possibility that God is a dream as well. Who’s dreaming whom? (And is it time to get out of the sun?)

That was the beginning of my chapter in Soul Whispers II, a book written by Soul Coaches for people who are on their own journey….and it still is as active within me as it was when I wrote it a few years ago. In my next post, I will continue my journey to Soul Coaching®…..

How is your journey in life going?

2016 has been one of the most challenging years in a long while for so many of us. If you pause to look back, you might see patterns, gain a higher perspective and  find insights from this 20/20 hindsight that you didn’t see while in going through those experiences. Many doors closed this year and many of you have experienced endings, as I have. But we have a choice: to stay in the room with the closed door, or open it and walk into another room or hallway in life to a new beginning. I hope you will follow along in my exploration of how I got from there to here; from then to now! What a trip!

what is your superpower
Blog Soul Coaching® June 13, 2016

What is your superpower?

I’m taking an unofficial survey. Mine used to be invisibility but I’m rethinking this. I had the pleasure of meeting up in person with my online dream group at the Divine Wisdom Retreat in Phoenix last year and through the amazing meditations and guidance of Denise Linn, together with the work of Colette Baron-Reid and Lisa Williams, I started to think about my love of hiding.

The Invisible Child

If I had to pick an archetype for the child I used to be, it would be the “invisible child”, a variation on the Wounded Child. Caroline Myss describes this archetype as, “the Child that has the idea that nobody saw them and they were ignored when growing up….The light side of this Archetype brings out and embraces the opportunity to create an extraordinary journey towards visibility. There is a yearning to become a visible person, often through creativity and using the imagination.” I’ve been taking this journey for the last 25 years, when I first started my psychotherapy training. When I was young, I was sweet (I have witnesses), shy and reserved; a natural introvert. I learned quickly that being invisible was a great way to watch others and know when it was safe to come out and be seen… or just safe. Fox like, I would wait and watch. Invisibility was also great through my teen years when all I wanted to do was disappear. As I got older, I knew invisibility was also a way to go inside to recharge.

for good or for evil

But somewhere along the way, this “superpower” no longer served me and it occurred to me that if I want to put my work out in the world even more than I already do, then I cannot hide. Archetypically, I’m a Teacher and my students will have to find me, right?  As I reevaluated my superpower, I realized that the truth is, our superpowers can be used for good or for evil. They can keep us safe and in control, or they can become chains that bind us and keep us from flying. Did someone clip your wings as you were you warned not to fly too high? (Or is flying your superpower that leaves you ungrounded?) With invisibility, and in general as an aging woman, my superpower ceases to be super and it’s now just a label. No one illustrates this better then Grace and Frankie, in the third episode of Season 1:

 

 

A Super Exercise

  • Think about all the superheroes you know and pick a superpower. Is it mind-reading, x-ray vision, flight? Something else, entirely different? Pick one and don’t think too hard.
  • Explore your choice of superpowers and Google it to see if there is a superhero or archetype to go with it- just to give you some ideas about how it works in your life. There is a lot of information here: http://www.archetypes.com. For instance, let’s say you feel connected with Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth. You might explore honesty or the archetype of the storyteller. Even if you can’t find any information about what your superpower symbolizes, you can still use your imagination! Ask yourself, “If you knew how this superpower worked in your life, what would it be?” If you love to fly, check out all the flying superheroes, like Superman, Superwoman or read the Greek myth of Icarus.
  • Make a 2-column list of all the good you can do with this power on the left, and all the ways this power may stunt your growth, on the right. You can label your columns “Good” and “Evil” just for fun!
  • Once you have a good idea of the perks that come with your superpower, look at the evil column and see what price you pay for these powers.

The Perks and the Price

For me, I’ve learned that while invisibility is sometimes useful, eventually I became invisible to myself! All I could see were my faults and my short-comings. The negative side of invisibility is hiding. At the retreat, Denise Linn suggested we do something different when we get home to help make our insights and changes concrete. So I bought a mirror. I’ve been meaning to buy one to place over my grandmother’s vanity but now I was really ready to see myself. Moreover, while I bought this mirror to truly see myself, more importantly, I was ready to see in myself what loving family, friends and students already see in me. I was ready to see my gifts and my soul in the mirror. I may still use my “Invisibility Cloak” from time to time, but for the most part, it will be hanging in the closet.

Patti in the Mirrow

 

 

 

soulful curiosity
Blog Soul Coaching® May 18, 2016

Soulful curiosity? What is that? I haven’t talked about Soul Coaching® in a while so maybe I can address the topic of soul curiosity and what that has to do with Soul Coaching® in the same post!

Seekers Unite!

People who are curious about the subject of soul are often Seekers. Caroline Myss defines the archetype of a Seeker as “one who searches on a path that may begin with earthly curiosity but has at its core the search for God and/or enlightenment.” Not to be confused with “the Mystic, which has the Divine as its sole focus, the Seeker is in search of wisdom and truth, wherever it is to be found.” I used to grapple with that difference but decided it was too hard to be a Mystic while raising four children! I do have God as part of journey though and I remember asking my mother about God at the age of four or five. She said God was everywhere and that really freaked me out when on the toilet! Fortunately the big skirts of the 50’s enabled me to cover myself up…you know, just in case God was really there. (Ew.) Clearly my five year old mind didn’t grasp the subtleties of that philosophy that if God was everywhere, he/she/all that is, would be in me, in all things and all of life, without separation. Ok, I’ll leave that for the Philosophers among you, (which clearly is not one of my archetypes)! But it didn’t stop me from searching.

Where Has Seeking Taken You?

In my life, I’ve explored Judaism, Christianity, Buddhism, Native spirituality and Aboriginal traditions, Shamanism, and more, and there is plenty more that I haven’t explored and this is the Seekers way; the Seeker’s mindset. So it was that I found my way to Soul Coaching® and the work of Denise Linn. Professionally, in a practice that started with body-centred psychotherapy, then energy work and dreams, and now grief and bereavement work, more and more often, my clients were talking “spirit” with me and I was becoming their Spiritual Director. I had looked into Spiritual Direction courses but felt they were not balanced, as they focused on one’s spiritual life only. I was trained to work from the premise that emotions and psychological healing had to be addressed as part of the process or spiritual pursuits ran the risk of becoming just one more way to avoid some hard work. I already had one or two of Denise’s books on my shelves; “The Secret Language of Signs” being one of my favourites to use in dream work. When a member in a profession group I was in mentioned she was a Soul Coach, my whole body perked up. I was listening.

I’m Listening

It turns out that is exactly what Soul Coaching is about- listening! And this is exactly what I had been doing for my clients, listening to their hearts and their souls. I was looking for a mentor for this work though, and I found it in Denise. Soul Coaching gave me the tools to teach others how to listen too.

But what is this “soulful curiosity”? I have it and most of the people who come to work with me have it too. It is the desire to know oneself; the desire to listen deeply to one’s heart and clarify one’s purpose in the world. And more, it is the desire to find that spark of God that is within us! Whether you resonate with the description of the Mystic or the Seeker, you are seeking self-knowledge and your inner, most sacred Self and God, (or however you define the Creator). You are ready and willing to clear the clutter from your life in all realms of body, mind, emotions and spirit and discover your essential, soulful self. You want to learn to recognize that voice of your soul as you navigate a more and more stressful and challenging world.

The Winds of Change

Well life is about change, (change is the only constant in the equation of life, after all) and Denise Linn will no longer be training Soul Coaches. She is turning the process over to her Advanced Soul Coaches who do her teacher training and I had decided that I wasn’t going to be one of them. But I had an AHA moment when I realized that I was playing out an old pattern and moreover, I am professionally happiest when I am teaching a group of Seekers who what to learn and grow! So why wouldn’t I want to do that? In that moment, I was listening to my heart and soul! That is what Soul Coaches teach people to do and I was, gratefully, listening to myself for once!

Curiosity Didn’t Kill the Cat

What are you curious about? Do you want to know how intuition works in you, in your life? Are you longing to give yourself breathing space? (I even put it into my latest Vision Board that featured more white space than usual.)

vision board

If you are a Seeker and you’ve felt stuck lately, start with your curiosity. I have a brittle and yellowing copy of Charles Dickens’ The Old Curiosity Shop in my office to remind me to be curious. It was discouraged by my family so I now take every opportunity I have to reparent myself and clear out attitudes and beliefs that aren’t mine. What would you explore or do if there were no negative repercussions? What would you try if you had nothing to lose? Would you explore something in your outer world or would you take an inner journey…or both? Soul Coaches can walk with you and teach you how to listen within. I will be honoured to be training future Soul Coaches in the New Year ( January 2017…An appropriate time for new beginnings!) while I continue to lead Soul Coaching groups as well as working one-on-one with individuals. Contact me if you’d like to ask me about my work. I hope, whether as a client or a student….or a friend, that our paths cross. We will recognize ourselves when they do…. We will be the curious ones! As always, I welcome your comments below!

the abaton keys
Blog Dreamwork Hacks Heart-Centered Dreamwork Soul Coaching® August 30, 2015

I love The Abaton Keys®, my dream healing oracle deck! Hey wait just a minute. Didn’t you create them, you ask? Well yes, but that’s not why I love them! Give me a moment of your time and I promise to explain. And for your patience, I will end with a special offer!

Back in the day, around 800 years before the Common Era, stories were circulating about a Hero- the offspring of a mortal and a god. His name was Asklepios. His father, Apollo, killed his mother in a jealous rage, and in a moment of either compassion (or Narcissism), he plucked the unborn infant from his mother’s funeral pire, and gave him to Chiron the Centaur to raise. Chiron was the archetypal Wounded Healer and raised Asklepios with the knowledge of herbs and the healing ways. Soon Asklepios was elevated to “god” status and came to be known as the god of healing.

Here’s the part that’s really cool… Pilgrims in search of healing would travel long distances and wait to be called into the Abaton- the sleeping chamber. There they would prepare to meet the god in their dreams and awaken healed or with instructions for healing. Let me repeat, all this happen in their dreams! This practice lasted for one thousand years, from 500 BCE (before the Common Era) to 500 CE so I like to think that people were finding value in it!

Fast forward amost 2,000 years and my interest in this practice was piqued in a way that could not be explained in logical ways. I had read Edward Tick’s book The Practice of Dream Healing and I was smitten with the Greek healing bug! I even found a way to write about the topic for my Masters. But there was a creative project about to emerge- The Abaton Keys®- and with the help of artist Julia Still, I gave birth to my dream healing oracle deck. I named them after the sleeping chamber where healing dreams took place and called them “keys” because I believe that we each hold the key to our own healing.

turning point

Believe it or not, I created these cards for people like me who think too much. Through my work with Denise Linn (see the link on the right), I discovered that the simple act of clearing my mind to focus on a question, then picking a card, enabled me to bypass my logical brain so that intuitive information could come through. Are you anything like me? Having a meditative ritual like picking an oracle card (see below), is all you need to do begin to harvest the wisdom and intuitive “hits” that dwell within. The feedback has been great and most people are getting insightful help in just the way they need it. Here’s but a small sample….

…The Abaton Keys are a very unique deck; using the wisdom of the ancients of old, the Abaton Keys give you a very deep, insightful and most importantly of all truthful perspective of any situation. I have not unfortunately as yet had the pleasure of using the deck with clients, but in my own personal use i have found the cards to be invaluable. Part of what makes these cards so special is the way they are cleverly divided into four suits, (the drama suit, medicine suit, wisdom suit and ritual suit); through making the deck this way, I find that the cards connect you deeply to not only your souls wisdom, but also allow you to experience the spiritual in a meaningful way. Another aspect of why I find these cards so special is the wonderful card spreads that are suggested at the beginning of the book. I have used the spreads several times now for myself and have found the messages brought forth to be deeply healing. Overall I would not hesitate to recommend the Abaton Keys to anyone who is truly interested in experiencing a deeply healing, spiritual and soulful experience, either for themselves or in use for others. Z.T. Uk.

OR,

The Abaton Keys is a beautiful deck that allows for clarity of dreams and messages of the soul. I have used this deck with clients for daily insights and for a 4 element reading. Clients have been astounded as to the accuracy of the cards. I highly recommend The Abaton Keys. The illustrations are so beautiful!  C.Lake, Texas

Which brings me to my list of reasons why you’ll love them too!

7 Reasons Why You’ll Love The Abaton Keys®

  1. They will help you bypass your rational mind: I don’t know about you but I think too much! These intuitive tools never fail to help me get out of my head and into my heart. They are truly heart opening.
  2. Through the Keys, you will tap into your intuition: So often we hear a little voice saying something of an intuitive nature and we rationalize the reasons to do the opposite! Or, for some, it’s drowned out in the noise or confusion of our many other thoughts. The Abaton Keys, will help you find your intuition in all that noise.
  3. The Keys enable you to align with ancient wisdom from Greece and other past lives: These cards were inspired by the wisdom I studied for my masters’ degree but I suspect I was drawing on a past life in ancient Greece as well. The four suits reflect different aspects of life in Greece 2000 years ago, including Philosophy and philosophers, Greek tragedies and comedies, ancient healing practices and the mysterious world of intuition and divination.
  4. The Abaton Keys connect you with your own Higher Self: By-passing the rational mind is the first step but coming into silence and connecting with the guardian of your deck will allow you access to your Higher Self and information that you never imagined you could know!
  5. They are a simple and elegant tool for centering and meditation: Not all uses for this deck need to be complex spreads! One of the most popular uses is for centering oneself, grounding and in meditation. Pick one key and breathe deeply and the benefits of this deck will be put to immediate use!
  6. They give you the “Hawk’s view” of your problems, your questions or your life: We are often too close to our problems to get a clear picture on what choices to make or direction to go in. When you use The Abaton Keys, they enable you to fly over your situation and find the answers that you need, when you need them.
  7. They will give you answers! Yes, don’t we all want answers? That’s why people go to psychics and other card readers! But I am a coach and I believe that all answers are within you already…we just don’t always know it and we need a little help to access the answers. The Abaton Keys® give you easy access to all the answers you seek.

Your Special Offer

This is only for YOU, because you have been reading my blog and I am SO grateful for your presence in my life! For the month of September (from September 1st-30th, 2015 only) Buy one deck of The Abaton Keys® and get a second deck for 1/2 price! But wait, there’s more! (Sorry I couldn’t resist using that cliche!)….

In addition to this great discount, get a free 15 minute coaching session with me, using the Abaton Keys! It would give me great joy to coach you through whatever questions or challenges you are facing!

To take me up on this great offer simply go to http://www.pattiallen.com/the-abaton-keys-a-dream-healing-oracle-deck-by-patti-allen/ and write “SEPT15” in the additional comments space.

Abaton Keys® spread

How To Succeed At Life-3 Tips!

Blog Soul Coaching® July 24, 2015

How to succeed at life

I wonder if we know how to succeed at life when everyone is busy using their smartphones and other electronic devices? I am usually an early adopter when it comes to technology. After all, I’ve already got Periscope on my iphone. But I saw a video on Facebook the other day of a woman giving birth in her car and it raised several questions for me about how we are living our lives. The young couple were apparently on their way to a birthing center and the husband certainly sounded supportive and was no doubt thinking he should just get his wife to the center fast, but I couldn’t get over the fact that the phone (or his camera) was set up and pointed at the passenger seat and at this young wife in labour. The video was very stable so it was clearly set up beforehand. I was also struck by the fact that as his pregnant wife was screaming that the baby was coming, he kept driving, rather than pull over to help her. To be fair, he eventually did ask her if he should stop or keep going and she told him to keep going but here’s where my head went with this: we are so focused on recording the events of our lives that we are not present in the moments of our lives! Here are some examples from cartoonists who have already started commenting on this phenomenon. Cartoonists have their fingers on the pulse of society, and their comics are often our early warning systems for our lives.

 

smartphone-addiction-illustrations-cartoons-2__605

 

 

 

439

 

smartphone-addiction-illustrations-cartoons-31__605

 

smartphone-tanlines

 

o-CARTOON-570

 

smartphone addiction

 

Granted, all of this is a somewhat tricky topic as most of my clients find me via my website and social media so I’m not saying we need to all become Luddites. But I am so disheartened of late, that we are missing what really matters in life, while we are busy recording life and taking selfies. I wonder if you are willing to do an experiment? What if you allowed yourself to be in the moment of your life’s moments? What if you checked your email just twice a day? (Hey I’m realistic, if nothing else. We do need to stay in touch and get some work done!) What if you just roll on the floor with your joyous toddler, rather than recording a video of you rolling on the floor with your toddler? How would your life be different if you let go of your smartphones? Would it be more “real”? Would you be more present to emotions, both positive and negative? Would you have more time for living? I suspect we would be more present, grounded and connected with each other, not just the “friends” we have online, many of whom we don’t actually know. Our smartphone “blindness” would turn to clear vision and seeing what is real and what is important.

 

smartphone blindness

 

Not convinced? Check out this brilliant little You Tube from China: smartphone addiction

And finally, sadly, this cartoon sums it all up:

 

life is what happens

3 Tips on How To Succeed At Life

  1. Limit your time on your smartphone. Plain and simple, I call it a “Phone Fast”. Find one time in your day when you would typically use your phone and shut it off for at least one hour. If you have children and teens at home, start some conversations about the addiction to technology.
  2. Be present. At least once a day, have a conversation or participate in an activity with someone without using your phone, whether googling a topic that comes up, checking your email, your texts or using any apps. Over time, see if you can increase this practice of being present and unplugged.
  3. Spend more time in nature. Stop and smell the flowers, breathe deeply and just BE. Now this is what I call a great and successful life!

28 Days To Finding Your Life’s Purpose!

Soul Coaching® July 9, 2015

28 days to finding your life's purpose

 

You can find your life’s purpose in 28 days! How do I know this? A dream and 28 days of Soul Coaching®. After a lively discussion on Joseph Campbell with some spiritual girlfriends, I asked myself “What is my bliss?” Of course, dreams were at the top of the list, but was that the whole story, I wondered? So I decided to incubate a dream, meaning to focus on a question before bed so that I can get some answers in my dreams. I repeated “What is my bliss?” to myself as I fell asleep. I caught a dream that had me following a woman named Joy, going down multiple levels of stairs, down through a basement level, to a doorway where I found myself on the top of a stairway that descended into the water of a ritual bath below. As I am about to step into the water, contemplating the way in which I want to say a blessing, I awaken. There are a lot of details that I’m leaving out, to spare you a long dream analysis as it was quite a long dream, but the metaphor is clear: Follow my “joy”, go deeper and deeper below the surface…and it is a blessing!

And how lucky am I that I get to coach people from all over the world in finding their purpose? As an Master Soul Coaching Practitioner and Trainer, naturally I use the soulful and brilliant work of Denise Linn’s 28-day Soul Coaching® program. Then I use my training in dream work to add an additional layer of deep soul work. In Soul Coaching, you learn to clutter-clear your life, so you can hear the authentic voice of your soul and your soul’s purpose. When your head gets in the way with too much analysis, you can count on your dreams to deliver your soul’s message….if you’re listening!

28 Days to Finding Your Purpose?

Yes, really! In just 28 days! You don’t need to go to a mountain top, meditate for hours, channel guides, or do silent retreats. All that you need is a strong intention and a road map. Soul Coaching is the road map. After my Joy dream, which I still ponder and work on, all these years later, I know I’m on the right track. When I wonder if a project or new direction in my work is the right way to go, I refer back to my dream. If the work is in alignment with the dream, I do it! But life isn’t always as clear and simple as that sounds. There are always the “what if’s” and maybes and yes, even self-doubt. Do you question your decisions and direction too? I often doubt my motivation or curse my changing direction and beat myself up for procrastinating…But then I remember who I am (a beautiful, light-filled soul) and give myself some heart-centered TLC. Soul Coaching® is my road map, my ground, and my set-point where I return in order to lift myself out of my ancient, critical patterns and “old stories”. When life befuddles me, I go back to the 28 days, working through the four elements- air, water, fire and earth- within me, clearing away my confusion and getting rid of what I no longer need in my life. I’m learning to let go and it’s an on-going project! I’m feeling like it’s time to do it again. If you’d like to go through the process with me, email me at patti@pattiallen.com.You really can find your life’s purpose in 28 days! And I’d love to go deep with some soul friends!

 

 

 

7 Reasons Why You Should Kick Your iPad Out Of The Bedroom

Heart-Centered Dreamwork Soul Coaching® July 2, 2015

7 Reasons Why You Should Kick Your Ipad Out of The Bedroom

 

Yes, I really did kick my iPad out of my bedroom! I had to, not because my husband was complaining, and not because of the many studies done on people who were sleeping with their electronics and getting less sleep and along with a lower quality of rest and suffering the consequences. In fact, I had all sorts of good reasons to keep my gear near. After all, I had great “sleep” apps to track my sleep, my movements, including my restlessness, and my dreams! I needed Solitaire to wear my over-active mind out and make me give up consciousness. And there was always one more post to make, email to answer, FB friend in a different time zone to chat with. Until it began to dawn on me that my sleep was in fact suffering (I was restless 46 times in one night according to my Fitbit!), but worse than that, I hadn’t caught a dream in months! That was the straw that broke this camel’s back!

As you might imagine, my dreams are extremely important to me and simply put, without them I feel disconnected to Source and Soul. So with the encouragement of Laurel Bleadon-Maffei, channel for Josephus and the Wisdom Council, angel communicator and third cousin, once removed, extraordinaire, I agreed to a little experiment: to give up my electronics at bedtime—until my birthday seventeen days later—and see what happens. As I set my intention to start catching dreams again, I realized that my bad habits weren’t just at bedtime, but in how I wake up as well. Very quickly, I knew that I needed to create sacred space in order to make room for my dreams, which are sacred in their source and their uses. Dreaming, we learn who we are and why we are, we problem-solve, create, connect with community and the collective energy that we live in, and come into alignment with Higher Self and guidance.

When I work with my clients, whether as Soul Coach or Dream Coach, we always come around to the topic of sacred space. For some, it is the clutter of attitudes and beliefs that must be cleared, for others it is physical clutter that must be tackled and for me, it was my pile of electronics. So I cleared my space, put out an old-fashioned (yet cool turquoise Moleskine) journal next to my bed to record my dreams physically with pen in hand and began. I wrote down my intentions, wrote down a few lines about my day, put my iPad away at least an hour before bed and read a “bookbook” (Ikea) before closing my eyes.

Wham! Night one: a dream! Night two: a dream! Night three: dang, in that slippery state of mind, my dream evaporated in a split second! But I kept at it and in 17 nights, I caught a dream (sometimes a dream fragment, sometimes 2 dreams) on 15 of those nights. Success! On the morning of my birthday, although I hadn’t asked for any special dream, I was given a great dream! My dreams were back! Now here is why you should kick out your electronics too!

 

7 reasons

 

  1. Better sleep/more rest: Research shows that the blue LED lights of your computers and hand-held devices are messing with your pineal gland and the production of melatonin. The more you use them, the harder it is to fall asleep and get quality rest. Best not to mess with Mother Nature.
  2. Build your dream muscles: We all dream yet so many of us think otherwise. But with practice and a focused intention, you can build your dream-catching muscles. Once I put my devices away, my dream recall bounced right back.
  3. Create Sacred Space: I can’t emphasize the importance of this enough. Make space for dreaming by clearing away the clutter in your bedroom. Your sleeping chamber can become the “abaton”, the sleeping chamber of the ancient Greek healing temples where dreams were used for healing. All that from decluttering. Not too shabby.
  4. Connect with Source: If we dream, and we are created in the “image of God” then God must be a dreamer too. Dreaming can be a sacred practice for connecting with the sacred within and the Creator, the Great Dreamer.
  5. Know Thyself: Once you go “inside” you might as well get to know yourself. The ancients considered this a high calling. Once you are on the road to self-awareness, personal growth and self-knowledge, you will notice that dreams are all the “technology” for growth that you will need. Pay attention.
  6. Intuitive Windfalls: Did you read about the Canadian dreamer who, in 2006, dreamed the lottery numbers, twice? Really. She ran out to buy a second ticket with the same numbers and won $16 million! Ok, admittedly, I’m still waiting for that dream, but dreams can give you insight and warnings that are nothing short of a windfall for living authentically.
  7. More Space for dreams; More Space for the Sacred: Once you make more space for dreaming, physically, emotionally, mentally, then the spiritual uses for dreaming burst open wide. Et voila, you are living in alignment with your soul’s plan for your life. Not unlike physics, the more you delve into the mysteries of your dreams and your psyche, you cannot help but see the miraculous in your dreams and connect with something bigger- whatever you call the Force.

Once you get the hang of detaching from your devices and doing some stellar dream-catching, then the possibilities for your waking and dream life are endless. You will have kicked the ipad habit and set yourself free!

Letting Go of the Inner Bibliophile

Soul Coaching® May 11, 2015

Letting-Go-Bibliophile

 

Letting go of the inner bibliophile must start with a confession! I love books. That may be a strange statement for the writer of blogs but there it is. That makes me a bibliophile, a lover or collector of books. If I ever come across a book that has some information in it that I may want to use some point in the future, I will buy it. I am also married to a bibliophile, so as you might imagine, we own a lot of books. To add to this strange mix, I will admit to owning an iPad that has three book readers in it. I bought it for two reasons. First and foremost, I bought it for travel. When I travel, I get a lot of my reading done, and with the airline’s weight restrictions, it seemed like a great way to take my books along and not give the airlines my money. Secondly, as a book lover, I’m running out of shelf space. So if I want to benefit from the information in the books I love, ironically, I have to turn them into e-books to read and store them.

 

And then Soul Coaching® happened to my life. Day 3 of the 28-day program starts like this: “Choose one small area in your bedroom, bathroom, or bedroom closet such as a drawer of shelf. Clear and clean it thoroughly. While you are clearing, affirm to yourself, “I am clearing all that I do not need out of my life.” This is not the first time I have done the 28-day program and I am repeating it in order to deepen and expand my experience. Since I had recently cleared out my bedroom and bathroom (as a Soul Coach I know how much lighter I feel without clutter so I try to keep on top of these things.) Yet, I could feel my office “calling” to me. As I looked around the room, I could feel the eyes of the books staring at me! It was if they were challenging me to deal with them and my book-buying habit.

 

Now you may have some habits too, whether you buy books or clothes, or shoes, or anything else that you don’t actually “need” so you probably can relate. I’m not talking about things we really need, nor am I talking about books that are really important to have. But these unneeded things that we keep buying are often ways that we fill up our empty spaces or the parts of ourselves that we think aren’t good enough without some outside props or help. In my case, communication and learning are very important values that I hold dear, and when I write about a subject, I want to make sure I know what I’m talking about. Yet the books that I “some day” hope to get to, have still gone unread.  I finally realized—or admitted—that for me, buying all these books were my way of not owning what I know! I let everyone else be the expert while not valuing my own expertise. So I let go of sixty books and donated them for someone else to enjoy.  And that was just the beginning! It’s my way of saying, “I’m okay and I am enough.”And if I need to look something up, that’s what libraries and Google are for!


3 RULES TO NEVER FORGET


1. LOVE IT: If you love something, whether family heirloom and kitschy flea market find, keep it for goodness sake! Surrounding yourself with things (and people) that you love is good! Keep it.

2. USE IT: If you own something that you use frequently, then why would you get rid of it? Keep it.

3. TOSS IT: Okay, so here’s the hard part. If you don’t love it and you don’t use it, then toss it out! Saving it for the one time in ten years that Aunt Gertrude visits and it’s gathering dust? Toss it. Is it a gadget that you found and used once upon a time and maybe, just maybe, in 2024, you might need it and they may not be for sale in the Future? Toss it.

These 3 simple rules will never let you down. I promise. And if you just can’t seem to toss something, knowing full well that you should, then put it in a box, seal it and date it one year in the future. Next year, check the box. If you haven’t opened it once, do not pass go, do not open it, and drive immediately to the local charity drop box and donate it. You will feel lighter, clearer, and you may just begin to fill your inner empty spaces with your magnificence!